What to expect from a Swedish visitor

Well, first of all, expect them to show up on time — or even early.

In big cities, spontaneous visits are rare, and you have probably agreed on the occasion weeks in advance. Your guest is very likely to be meticulously punctual, as people consider arriving more than 15 minutes after the agreed time very rude.

The first thing your Swedish visitor will do is take off their shoes and leave them by the front door, regardless of the season. Swedes see shoes as unarguably dirty and take great care not to stain your floors.

Second, they are very likely to comment on how difficult or easy it was to find your house.
They may also share their impressions of the surrounding area. They might ask about access to public transport, local amenities or the closest “water” (meaning a lake, the sea or possibly a river). Later, they will often share these observations as praise with anyone who is interested.

Quite abruptly, they may also enquire about how much you paid for your house or flat.
They may also ask whether you rent it. Although this can feel very blunt, it is not an attempt to assess your personal finances.
Instead, it is a way of gathering insider information about the local price range. All Swedes above the age of three seem genetically programmed to do this.
They maintain an up-to-date mental map of the housing market and its fluctuations.

Before sitting down, your guest will probably expect a little tour of your house or flat

This habit has even been honoured with a term — husesyn in Swedish.
It offers your visitor the opportunity to admire various aspects of your living arrangements before relaxing and proceeding to social interaction. Interior decoration is a popular hobby, or even a life philosophy, among many Swedes, and not only aesthetic aspects are considered.

Storage solutions fascinate many Swedes, as do creative approaches to small spaces.

During this tour, your Swedish visitor’s definition of privacy may surprise you slightly. Swedes consider inspecting your bedroom perfectly normal.

Guests and hosts usually agree on dinner or lunch in advance, and it requires a formal invitation.

If you have invited your friend between 11 a.m. and 1 p.m., they will probably expect lunch. Between 5 and 8 p.m., dinner is assumed. At other times of the day, people almost always welcome coffee as an icebreaker, even in the evening. As the host, it is entirely your decision what, if anything, you choose to serve.With a cup of coffee in hand, your Swedish friend may feel more inclined to try something unfamiliar from your home country. 

Bear in mind that many Swedes suffer from various forms of self-diagnosed intolerances or diets

Seemingly harmless substances, such as wheat flour, are sometimes regarded as serious threats to both metabolism and moral wellbeing. As a result, they may comfortably decline something you spent hours preparing using rare imported ingredients. Unlike me, you would like to cater for such guests, I recommend keeping a stash of almond milk and tree bark to offer as a healthy alternative.

Many Swedes view serving alcohol during the daytime with suspicion — unless you are a student.

As you prepare to sit down in your living room or kitchen, you might be surprised to hear your guest suggest an alternative location.

If your home has a balcony or garden and the temperature reaches 12 degrees Celsius in a sunny spot, your visitor may struggle to understand this.
They may not understand why you would stay indoors. They will instinctively try to absorb every possible ray of warmth and sunlight. If there is no balcony, they may finish their coffee quickly and suggest a short walk instead. You should not interpret this as an attempt to escape your home, but rather as another expression of their need to spend time outdoors. In fact, staying indoors on a beautiful day may cause mild panic.

In general, Swedes rarely see the point in sitting down and talking.

Instead, they prefer to engage in some form of activity. This could include walking, playing board games, sports or practical tasks. Many Swedes consider helping with a practical problem a pleasant way of spending time together.  your guest is not particularly skilled at small talk, this may also help ease potential awkwardness. Simply suggest baking a cake, assembling IKEA furniture or, once again, going outside.

Do not be surprised if your Swedish visitor asks if they can borrow the bathroom

This comes directly from Swedish.

If your Swedish visitor is staying overnight, you might get the impression they are avoiding you

Swedes take great care not to disturb their hosts and place strong value on respecting your privacy. believe a perfect guest should remain independent and spend a significant portion of the stay alone.

They will likely be very happy to borrow a set of keys in order not to interfere with your daily routines. If they stay overnight, you may wake up early to discover that your guests have already had breakfast, tidied the kitchen and left for a day trip. Please do not interpret this as a lack of interest in you.

Regardless of whether your stay lasted one hour or three days, you are likely to receive a written thank you within a couple of days

They may send a text message, an email or even a handwritten card. Your guest will likely express gratitude several times throughout the visit. They will thank you for the food, the coffee, the loan of various items (including your bathroom) and, finally, once more: tack för senast. Swedish norms consider expressing gratitude the height of politeness. Even if it may not always feel that way, your Swedish guest will do everything possible to be polite during their visit.

Further reading

• Work in Sweden guides
• Learn Swedish